Have I.?

Thursday, June 29, 2006

9:35 PM

yummy...jus cut jelly...now eat while typing...haha..."p xin fu neh...hehe...=D

*****

hmm...today wake up the same time as usual...but...counted as late ba...cos forget today got ut...nv notice sandy's msg when she say she went out...if i notice den won't be as late and asked them to leave first...

but...i gotta catch up with them la...haha..."p den also can say i reach on time la...but...today's ut very hard leh...not enuff time for mi also...haizz...den i scare later my grades...haizz...hope nope la...

*****

haPpy biRthDay JasMinE!!!

today is jasmine 17 years old b'dae

hope she will be happy always...

*****

today's presentation i pronounce some words very funny...say wrongly or wat...den i laugh sia...omg...hmm...den do the quiz...do until halfway the connection kana cut off sia...godness...!!! den i nv even press the submit button...haizz...think no marks la...cos hor...i type in the answer den it shows "not save" sia...die...

den after sch went for the make up ig...they teach us how to draw eyebrow la...supposingly it ends at 6 de...but they end early la...cos we all not responsive...always no question...den very few of them bring the eyebrow pencil onli...so cannot hav the "buddy try-on session"...so cut this and that...den end early lo...haha..."p

*****

yeah...yesterday add my name de graphics in friendster...haha..."p so satisfied sia...the background and the graphic...haha..."p

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

11:14 PM

today quite late wake up sia...around 7.30 lidat...dotx...got shocked when my dad wake mi up and ask mi wat time i need to wake up...haha..."p dunno y nv even hear my mum shout and the alarm ring...mayb too tire...and fallen into a deep deep sleep ba...

den went to school as usual la...but tis time is hesitant on wanna chao half-way anot...cos meeting secondary school frens la...den scare later after school meet them den some will go home le...however...i did not chao half-way la...i waited for 6p...finish quiz...den go le...hmm...actually the faci still go thru wif us the quiz la...but no time to wait anymore...so jus go lo...

today walk to mrt alone la...den walk very very fast...fast until i feel my legs ache...haha..."p and feel tat my energy is depleting...but i still persevered to the destination...haha..."p sounds so wow...!!

hmm...met jy on the way to mrt la...den say a hi...hmm..tok he nv go sch today??pon ar??hmm...ya...jus now in msn he ask mi why so...haha..."p okay la...i also dunno why...everything so sudden...

hmm...ya...today joel so fierce...so serious...sounds like daddy man...say if i keep dun eat or sleep late...something will surely happen de...hmm...sometimes not i dun wanna eat la...actually i also dunno what i'm thinking...and what i am afraid of...things jus happen so suddenly...

oh ya...and today our group like...not so happy with someone la..hmm...mayb the person also high in dominant la...dunno la...at times the ppl can be nice la...and won't contribute la...but...if the ppl has ideas on the prob statement...the ppl will want us to do the way the ppl say...if not...the ppl will not angry la...

*****

hmmm...ya...met sweeteng gina navya shuyi melo and candy at lot1..dunno candy tat well so abit weird la...can tell that i hav change la...if last time...i will be very socialise la...but now...feel weird...hmm..we had neoprints...which...the result came out to be quite disappointin la...but nvm...den also very hard to divide among us...haha..."p i get the most sia...and gina also...

okay...den after tat...sweeteng and navya went home...den we walk walk awhile...really awhile onli...den candy wanna go buy her stuff while we go eat together wif gina's bro...

went watson after tat...and home we go...

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

11:15 PM

hmm...today wake up in the morning again...as before...but was really reluctant to go school...haizz...dunno...mayb becos of my laziness...or...

yea...i was so reluctant to go school...was not before...but that's the past...so...i think i will be late always...so...sorry sandy...my reluctant make me move and prepare slower...T.T

now...school is over...in class blogging...first time sia...if i'm not wrong...cos today got the time la...school end very early today...so...i have the time to blog...while i'm waiting for sandy they all to go home...sch end early also no good...need to wait...alone...of cos got other ppl in class la...but...u should noe la...however...end late also no good...later sandy they all go home lo...haha..."p also dun let them wait la...somebody say mi "tortoise" le...T.T godness...i admit i am really slow...mayb...slower than tortoise...

i'm jus not satisfied with my life now...think that it is quite meaningless...never learn new thing in school also...cos not very related with my course la...

moreover...sian...i going to retake my O level English tis year...and...i'm being posted to...yusof ishak secondary...damn it...i very scare sia...i scare i will be very blur that day...blur until...until i missed my examination time...becos i dunno...the venue...where it held...how it held...and...who i'll meet...godness...

*****

OH MY GOD...!!!today got people taking UT issit???suddenly offline...and now i have to save what i have written...and post it later...godness...!!!!

Monday, June 26, 2006

12:38 PM

HapPy bIrTHdAy sHUyI anD sHiMiN...!!!

wow...now den noe both of ur birthday falls on the same date sia...haha..."p

Saturday, June 24, 2006

12:45 AM

finally weekend le...finally...and i finally got the time to blog...and play maple...haizz...tis fews day keep feel like pon-ing the sch...den also pon 2 times le...i think...haizz...sian...schooling is so sian for a loner...

o level is reaching man...dotx...although is august la...but i dunno need to do wat preparations...in order to...hopefully pass my exams with "flying colours"-sound like primary school gals writing diaries kind of thing...haha..."p

hmm...not doin good in poly also...the cognitive problem solving module...haizz...many Cs le...so damn discouraging...dun feel like attending his class also...the hairdresser...godness man...!!!he so hypocrite man...sometimes in front like very friendly...wanna joke around with us...say abt soccer...try to tag with us la....he is moody too....especially recently man...dotx...dunno y...keep showing us attitude man...haizz...hypocrite...masked man...dunno wat he up to also...

today get the module's daily grade...see that i got one more C...discouraging...haizz...den ask around...even the smartest...or i mean the best gal get C also...so not fair man...cos a china guy...get B sia...so not fair...dunno how he grade lo...ass man...so damn ass...!!!

*#$%@#!*

"country-ist" - oh man!!!!

so damn upset...oh ya...haven do my rj all that...feel tire also...haizz...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

8:54 AM

hmm...today wake up in the early morning...den nv go sch....-_-" cos raining...and i'll only be there for 30 minutes...so have the urge of pon-ing sch...got ut...T.T but nv go...haizz...

later wanna go cut hair...now feel very sleepy sia...

haha..."p also...will be meeting my secondary school frens later...oh mine...long time no see u guys le....miss u guys man...haha..."p hope everything is still the same...and hope we will enjoy the day...

*yaWn*

8:40 AM

yesterday...the first day of my school...and it's the worst as ever...the facilitator...the school and the fren...everything complied togther iis disaster...haizzz...

in the morning...as usual i meet up with sandy jq and shuyi...but not char and esther...bcos i goin with sandy they all...but the moment i step in the class...i felt like i'm completely a outsider...omg...dotx...the way it goes yesterday was also completely different in the morning...bcos...i think some people somehow can choose their group members...

i nv group with them la...den like whole day also nv tok so much to them...to the limit of at most five sentences lidat...oh ya...esther and mel cut their fringe...omg...i also wanna cut...hmmm...den i nv eat with them cos they eating outside...and nv go home with them cos they were to fast...i nv even really notice abt it...so i meet sandy they all to go home lo...

oh man...the facilitator was like gave up on us...nv grade us when we were presenting...give us that kind of disappointed face...and say "hope you guys will quickly come back from your holiday mood"...mayb really bcos of the holiday ba...

wah...i think my grade will be C or D ba...haizz...sian la...so disappointing de...get so many C for this module...very discouraging...den when he look at me when i present...den ask especially alot of question when my turn to present...den also give me the disappointed face only when it's my turn to present for my group...oh mine...

Sunday, June 18, 2006

10:47 PM

haizzz...today sunday le...tml school start le...omg...tml is problem solving...the "hairdresser" de module sia...haizz...he gave mi two "C" le...dun like his lesson now...so discouraging man...plus the school and frens that i dun belong to...haizz...

tis 2 weeks holiday not fun de...almost everday stay at home and rot...sian man...den only can play maple...haizz...no program...no ppl jio me go out...sian...tis shows that i dun really hav much fren...

haizz...haizz...haizz...sian...sian...sian...

dun have the urge to go that stupid school with those kind of stupid system...which cant really get close fren...hmm...or mayb...i dun really suits there...as...i'm not tat friendly so i dun have that many frens ba...or...i am tire le...

life to me now is meaningless...becos of the school that i am currently study in...and the frens that i have left with...

makes me feel that i dun belong here... *tears*

agony 12:25 AM

agony 12:19 AM

12:16 AM

12:13 AM

Saturday, June 17, 2006

11:25 PM

haizz...school really starting soon...my life really sian...everyday do the same stuff...wake up eat slp or play maple...dotx...so boring...no program...no nothing...sian sian sian...

haizz...really feel tat i am really a failure...cannot find programs...cannot find frens to go out wif...cannot do the thing tat i wan...cannot enjoy myself...my life...really miserable...

suddenly feel tat living is a very boring matter...real boring...does not make sense for mi to be alive...meaningless...!!!

mayb i was a sinned person last lifetime...so now i have to repay everything...i have to faced my retribution tis lifetime...i am here to be tortured...to feel lonely...to be in agony...

oh man...i'm suffering...and...THE WORST HAS YET TO COME...

Friday, June 16, 2006

6:30 PM

6:28 PM

6:13 PM

hmmm...wake up at four something today...becos yesterday play maple since 2 something i think till today morning 8 something den sleep...haha..."p my mum tok i wake up so early to play game...she din noe i never sleep...

haizz...time flies...today friday le...my holidays onli left...saturday and sunday...i suddenly have the urge to quit school...i dun like the environment...the facilitator...the problem statement...everything...there's nothing that motivate mi to school...a even a tinge...

i dunno why...why i become so pessimistic...why i have no motivation to move on wif my poly life...why i dun feel that i belong to there...why cant i lead a real happy life like last time...why cant i let go of myself...why can i laugh out as loud as happy as true as i am...why why why....

6:00 PM

Because of You

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
---
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
---
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
---
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
---
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
---
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
---
Because of you
Because of you

5:44 PM

u taught mi tat a week has only mon+thursday-(last sun)= a day

*****

nothing goes smoothly tis whole holiday

bcos it doesnt goes smoothly

what planned has cancel

what said goes invalid

what i thought my holiday will be

the bubble has burst

*****

i'm hurt

i feel sad

i'm crying

my heart is bleeding

disaster fond mi

dark side made mi his spouse

i am forced to fake a smile

am forced to accept everything

the cruel reality

3:29 AM

rEaLiTy

saDneSs

rEaLitY is cRuEL

3:10 AM

hmm..okay...today wake up at 3 plus...oh man...haha..."p den notice that my lappy was off...tok who switch off the electricity...but nope...i later find out that my lappy got problem...as it switched off in front of my eyes...and it was the second time of the day...omg...moreover...it hanged alot of times today...dunno was it the lappy problem or the messenger...haizz...what actually went wrong here??

okay...den is the msn...i sign in and it hang...den again i sign in...and tis time hang when i click on my fren's nick...omg...so from now onwards...i haven click on any contacts yet...so it is working properly...haha..."p

oh ya...i haven update my links...as i included the mediacorps actress patricia mok's shopping blog...ya...and i went to see around...she introduces great food and shopping stuff...and i saw her blog webby from a today newspaper...go check it out...

2:55 AM

haizz...yesterday's matter no one around me has notice that i am upset...but nevermind also la...maybe i can be a good actress at times...onli...

i dunno why i when i decide to confine myself but at times yet i cant control myself from expecting something from somebody...and disappoint myself...how disastrous i am...

i wish i wish i could dun care how people did to me and jus continue with my positive life...

i wish i wish i could dun mind about what others think of me and lead my pleasant life...

how i wish everything could be alrite with different people having different perceptions and yet they can come together and live harmoniously...

i also wish that there are no such things as tears sadness dark side...

but in this reality world there is...all the opposite of how i wish...oh man...

and i just hope tat people could do wat they promise to their loved ones...including their frens and family...

and tis will keep them from expecting the disappointment...

Thursday, June 15, 2006

12:21 AM

haizz..today so sian...all planed stuff was invalid at the very last minute...so disappoint...so damn sian...i am surrounded by boredom...everyday every night...the only thing that i can rely on is maple story...although it is childish...but...it can help to to walk thru boredom...

blogging also good...haha..."p can vent my anger...always a good "listener"...watever i type it swallow...whenever i need it...it's there...(except when maintenance time)

hmmm...holidays is boring without program...but i also dun like school...everyday do the same stuff...feel lonely and lost at times...so afterall staying at home is better than facing the society...

people say that the society is full of masked ppl and backstabbers all that...but there is also "true" people who are really sincere and nice...however...i cant really differiate them all...although i am a sensitive person...

haizz...i missed my secondary school life...so true so fun...so many friends to play and joke with...friends dun change and environment wont change that often also...i also miss my laughter... or to say our laughter...that we could really release ourselves from all those restriction...a true big real long laugh...that came from our heart...but not fake smile...

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

11:54 PM

loSt saD

5:36 PM

i feelin so upset now

why people always can't do what they say

*****

i keep myself silence doesn't mean i dun care

but the opposite

*****

i hate myself for taking people's words so seriously

i hate myself for being so damn sensitive

i just detest myself

very much

*****

i hope i did not hurt anyone

especially to those i care the most

i think that i must say what i shuldn't say

sorry for hurting you my fren

is for our own good

although we both get hurts

*****

i am trying to confine myself

not to be sensitive

not to be disappoint easily

not to get upset easily

to be wat u want me to be

but not myself

someone who i do not noe

a stranger to me

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

6:52 PM

hmmm...dotx...haizz...yesterday got go out...go watch movie the omen...den saw ben at the cinema there...haha.."p i hav sharp eyes okay...haha..."p

after tat went plaza singapura...walk up and up...nothing to do...sian...den actually wanna play arcade...but nothing nice...haizz...den go all the way down...wanna go eat dinner but still early...haizz...den dunno wat to do...

den see some frens again...but tis time i dunno them sia...not my frens mah...hmm...den they follow us all the way from plaza singapura to taka...den i rarely tok la...they all tok their games stuff and soccer...omg...i dunno all that la...so nv tok much...

hmmm...den after tat go find sandy they all...haha..."p actually wanna take neoprints...but nv...cos someone say take den nv take...haha..."p

hmm...den go the limited edition de shop i think...den saw a adidas bag...quite nice...feel like buying but no money...so go home consider properly den say...haizz...feel like buying sia...T.T

*****

hmmm...today very very sian...no go out...den very late den wake up...dunno do wat...den the stupid maple quest dunno why cannot finish de...still "in progress"...omg...haizz...den do tis and tat...blog here and there...haha..."p find music for my blog also...wow...sweeteng teach de...haha..."p

Monday, June 12, 2006

12:02 AM

sian arh...

com suddenly so lag...

the blogger very slow...

lap top black out two times...

one at 8 something one at 11 something...dotx...dunno wat happen...

maple also cannot login...now headache...haizz...

*bang head*

*****

now test test tis format...

haha..."p

nothing to do sia...

haizz...

can anybody tag my blog???

as and when u like!!!!

dun feel like also tag!!!

please..!!!!

*****

so cold here...

nobody tok de...haizz...

Sunday, June 11, 2006

9:15 PM

Abriel my niece...

oops..he is sleeping...

shHh...

8:21 PM

yesterday...boring...haizz...hmmm...forget wat time i woke up le...haha..."p stml sia...haizz...yesterday whole day never go out...stay at home...play maple...haizz...still can do wat???also dunno who to ask to go out...if wanna go out also dunno when to go...singapore is small...but i also dun wish to travel too far...or waste to much time travelling...haizz...contradict sia...my sis so good de...everyday got program...can go out...haizz...den i everytime stay at home...dunno wat to do...

den i play maple the whole day...doing quest...buy thing until no money(i mean in maple also)...T.T haizz...

after tat...play till night...dun feel like eating much la...cos headache la...haizz...den go pasar malam buy food...buy waffle hotdog...haha..."p so nice...and putu piring...dunno is spelt correctly anot...haha..."p

*****

hmmm...today...wake up at 11 something...but the day before slept at 4 something...omg...haizz...cos need to go cousin's house la...so need to wake up early...hmm...cos their baby name Abriel Goh Jie Ren one month old la so need to go eat and blah blah la...is a he...haha..."p

he very small sia...den when i reach till i leave he still sleeping...so small so cute...haha..."p he was borned on 11 may 2006...weight 2.9 kg onli...haha..."p

he look very much like my cousin la...everybody say that...haha..."p

hmm...oh ya...today cos my aunt very busy la...den she also helping my another cousin to carry her baby...den cos her guest is leaving den need to give them the "food" la...which when baby turn one month old they will give their relative la...to inform them so on la...den she pass the baby to mi...omg...den i dunno how to handle her...haha..."p scare she uncomfortable all that la...dotx...den she also got make some noise...haha..."p den i also dunno how to carry her...hmm..den i put her on sofa...den ask my sis to take care...i hurry find my parents...but can't find them la...den dun care lo...we use soft toys to let her play all that...haha..."p den luckily after not long my mum came back la...den she help to take care the baby...

what a relieve la...haha..."p

omg...den come home play maple again...den now headache again liao...dotx...

Friday, June 09, 2006

7:59 PM

hmm...today wake up at two something going to three sia...dotx...cos dun feel like waking up la...nothing to do also...haizz...

today whole day toking on phone...after i wake up den i call gina...chat wif her...den hang up cos gina wanna cut her hair...she say wanna call mi back la...but as usual think she forgotten all about it...haha..."p oh ya...she rebonded her hair today...

hmmm...den after tat i called sweeteng...ask her when she goin to online...cos i need ti teach her how to create her blog la...hmm...so today i had help her and her sis to create their blog...haha..."p 2 blogs has given birth under my hands today...haha..."p

no play maple today sia...haizz...must chiong later on le...haha..."p

3:25 PM

pictures of W15M bbQ gathering

tis is the photo that i had wif them

5 of us...

so called "formal" pictures...haha...

Thursday, June 08, 2006

9:43 PM

yesterday went to class bbq...hmmm...yesterday ok la...wake up quite late...den play maple...after tat went to burger king to buy snacks...when reach home....i have no time left...so hurry finish out the snacks...and change clothes den go off le...

tok will be the last to reach...but i'm not...quite relieve la...hmm...after tat we went to but more ingredients...and went to the place...unfortunately...it was a rainy day la...it rain jus now...everything was wet...not long after we reach and got everything settle...it rain again...because the place to shelter...so we think of many ways to hide the things...and ourselves sheltered also...haha..."p

luckily the rain stops after tat...so we continued to bbq...and i eat all the way la...got sotong satay hotdogs wings and mashmallow la...haha..."p

funny sia...when we bbq the mashmallow...someone's mashmallow burnt sia...all black..."chao tah" sia...so damn funny...haha..."p

hmmm...den they play around la...hmmm...but i went home early la...cos wanna watch chang jin...

8:48 PM

SwIss aLuMni bbQ 2006

aNd we are the history of swiss percussion...haha..."p

we create history...

haha..."p swee teng and zhen jie "onli"

wow...their picture...wohoo...

8:44 PM

ContinuaTioN...

giNa carrying mi...haha...

melo look really different tat day sia...

OMG...!!u see wat she wear...so feminine...wow!!

shuyi and melo...

melo having the same pose...haha..."p

a better wan...melo n sweeteng closer look...
anD now i am carrying gina...omg...!!

my face look a bit weird huh??haha..."p

7:50 PM

More PicTurEs during bbQ aLuMni 2006

five of us finally meet...

i was trying to get into tis shot too...haha..."p

haha...me and gina fighting again...wat is sandy trying to do??

sweeteng, gina, shuyi

wat is swee teng looking at??

five of us again...but sweeteng's eyes look smaller tis time..."p

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

4:42 PM

me and sandy's gui lian...

trying to pull my face...

but sandy say she has widen her mouth...

hmmm...still look the same...

the pig represent me...the "photographer" trying to be funny "p

i'm not the wan who took tis pic

can see sandy's face...jus now tat wan cut off...

but cant see the pig face...T.Ta decent wan...".with our pigs...haha..."p
angry pig

blur wan...T.Ti took tis...better rite??haha..."p

4:34 PM

hmm...yesterday went to dunno where la...somewhere in woodlands...haha..."p den eat the dinner...like somekind of chinese auction...haha..."p dunno how to spell la...and dunno how to say...onli noe the dish quite okay...got my favourite den enough le...hmm...but very tedious la...cos mi wearing braces mah...den sometimes the food will stuck...haizz...sound gross man...!!haha..."p cos quite sian also la...must wait for the food...while ppl bid the thing...hmm...den also very noisy...not like those high high class de ppl having auction la...haha..."p hmmm...den while they were bidding...i took some pics with sandy...haha..."p

*****

hmm...today wake up at 2 something man...dotx....like pig sia...can slp so many hours...actually wanna go buy the bbq thingys wif char they all...but can't wake up la...got wake up la...but hear outside raining heavily...plus tire...so sms char say i not going le...den went back to slp again...till 2 plus...haha..."p sorry guys...i "abit" lazy la...sorry arh...!!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

1:27 PM

me and gina...fighting actually..."p

security guard uncle and us...!!haha..."p

he still remember us...

more pic will be uploaded...but must wait for melo exam to be over...T.T

12:37 PM

finally...today is the second day of holiday...hmm...but we onli got two weeks of holiday...tat mean still got 12 days left...time flies...

hmm...this few days keep playing maple la...so also no time to update my blog...but i'll try la...haha..."p finally holiday le...after holiday still got a long long way to go man...dotx...but...i'll try to enjoy now la...

yesterday went back to my secondary school for bbq alumni...must pay ten dollar la...but i thought it was some kind of buffet type la...cos my fren say de...but went there it was really bbq kind la...haha..."p but i nv get to bbq myself...except for the mashmallow...other food like satay otah chicken wing all ppl bbq for us already...so can take la...

it was so fun...get to see my secondary school frens finally...miss them sia...haha..."p at first i tok that it could be very boring la...cos i was late...den call my fren who have reached the school...they say not fun la...but i reach le...den we play around...take photos...eat...haha..."p den also play game till the bbq ends...overall it was damn fun man...come to think of it...ever since i enter republic poly....i haven been soon enthusastic already...really miss our secondary school days la...as wat my fren say is true..."regretting is part of our life"