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today very boring, what i had actually plan, what i said, had all gone to rubbish chute. He can be good, suddenly so good that you can't really recognise is him, but he can as bad, till can make you cry whole week for him.
Until now, i still don't why, girl like me, can cry so much for guys ; except for movies. I don't know how to control my tears, there isn't any tap fixed on it.
He forget what i said, I cried. He forget what he said, I also cried. His actions shows he don't care, and I cried again. Useless me, almost whatever things he did to me, i cried.
I hate this feeling, but i can't control myself from being what i am. You can said that i'm sensitive, nonsense or whatever, i am just what i am. ***** yesterday quite awkward, working with boss in shop. It is because, my full-time got wedding dinner to attend, thus, taken leave on that day. boss and i stay at the shop from 12.30-9.30. Her boyfriend also present, but for the start and the end of the working time. I felt out of place at first. But, time flies. Nothing went wrong, i think. But the customer for the day were pathethic- fewer than usual. And the question that she asked, i really have no idea how to answer-for some. ***** friday, everything was quite smoothly done. At the begining part, boss was present. But after awhile, she left. And then, more comfortable i will be. I told my full-timer that, if she is unhappy with me, she can feel free to tell me, and then i will hand in my resignation letter. Was ease at last. Maybe i just don't have the qualities to be a salesgirl, or whatever.
it has been a long time since i blogged- about a week. been lazier than ever. since the day that i've got lecture again from my full-timer. Alright, let mi jus start with my today and then back to the last time i ever blogged, which is friday.
today, i had my o level oral examination in yiss. Today's topic was easy, because it is about "shopping". And i love to shop, which means i would be able to say lots of stuff.
Unfortunately, i was too nervous to be so. I read the passage not that fluently- say wrong named, pronounce the word wrongly, stumbled my way througout. Also, what i had prepared to say just disappeared in my mind out of sudden; partly is due to my stml too. Moreover, my bad sentence structured, lack of vocabulary made me feel uncomfortable in expressing myself.
Additionally, i even went out of the examination venue without realising that my entry proof and my identity card was left behind. It was damn embarrassing and funny as well.
afterall, the matter that spoilt my mood the most was that the "somebody", who had agreed to meet up, did not kept his words.
however, i got to meet up sandy in the evening for practicing our pool skills. Haha..."p*****yesterday, wed 23 aug 2006, is the last day of we, w15m, studying, have fun and fights together. It is quite sad to us to part with each other, and got to face a new fresh start next semester. We had spent this 16 weeks, did so many stuff together- presentation, skip classes, outing, and through this, and this makes our bonds were tighten, and our relationships were a step higher.It is quite disappointing for us to mark an end to w15m, the spirit and the relationships in our class. The time we had spent with each other ; our groups and gang people, will be truely treasured by me, in my heart and mind forever. My first form class in RP, my first memories in Rp that we created together-regardless of sadness or happiness.Hope we would still contact each other.thx my fren, for being there with me. I noe that actually I did not spent so much time with you guys after, as i joined you guys later- in the mid of the semster. When i started to realise the closeness we are at, it's time for us to bid goodbye. It is quite sad to hear this, but what can we do now is to face this "stubborn/STUPID" RP system. However, we can still fight all our rights to stay in contact with each other in the future. Catch up with each other for some drinks, movie or even shopping. THANKS for being there for me. Thanks for helping and encouraging me in school and especially my o level oral.haha..."pESPECIALLY TO AMINAH AMIRA MIMI NURUL LOGA JUSTIN JOELKEEP IN TOUCH=)*****saturday, went to work as usual, but got lectured again...by the full-timer. I am quite disappointed in myself, because, all this while, i thought i was okay- done what i should do. When she talked to me, ask me why i choose to work, i felt very ashamed of myself. It is because, my purpose to work was to earn money that's all. And i know that it sounded that i am not that commited to work.Her lectured to me, put my days off.
hmm...still very tire laterly...dunno why...issit because of working??i seems to be tire of working already...how can i??i just get to work for a couple of weeks only and now...i get tire of it??i dunno y...at the first few days...i was so excited abt it...and even...cant wait to go for work...but now??*****
i am really very tire already...i realised that...the more i work the more i'll spent my money...haizz...my mum destroy my favourite clothes again...the more i buy...the more she will destroy...why issit so???god...are you playing tricks on mi??have i offended god??i noe...my mum will ask mi to wash the clothes myself if i dun wanna her to destroy anymore clothes...but...i work...i buy...i wash...this will get bring me to hospital...cos..i wont be able to take...now idun even have time for sufficient rest...and now...if you still wan mi to wash my clothes...i think...i wont be able to take it...***** i 've been working...studying...skip school...and using photo shop all this while...i dunno why i have been so lazy laterly...am i truely lazy???or really wear off... all this while...i also read a book...i cant really rmb the title...but is something like "not that into you"...it teaches us...the female...to be confident abt our...and states that we can deserve better...its also abt guys...mayb to tell us their underlying message from their action...how they treat us...means how much they like dislike love or hate us... and this book really make mi think...whether he really like mi??goodness...all his actions show how much he heck abt mi...he nv call mi...give promises...all this...truely shows that he is just not into me...*tears* as the books says that if the guy is really into u...den he will surely rmb to call u...no matter how busy he was...he will surely find sometime for it... i am quite bothered abt what the book says...mayb it is true...but i kept on telling myself that mayb he is different from other guy...thus the book was untrue abt him...however...i dunno whether am i deceiving myself...just to let myself feel better by saying all this...or...haizz... also...jus now went to mimi's blog...he say abt guys giving promises to his girlfren...and says i love you to them...but after they break...both move on...and gives and says the same promises and words again...and the promise and the 3-lettered word they say previously...were all..."in their heart"...quite true la...this is rather irony...but compare to my boyfriend...he dont even dare to give mi promises...if you were mi...how will you feel???*hurts* and ya...i even got some lecture from my fren...about my boyfren thingy...he ask mi to wake up...but i really dunno how...dunno what to do...how to do to not regret...not sad...and not cry like last time...
omg...i got alot of pimple now...goodness...so scary lo...suddenly have de...haizz...no face to meet ppl le...no mood to doll myself up le...haizz...
today went to work...a usual saturday...hmm...but think was late for abt 15 minutes...omg...den my full time say put 12 pm lo...actually is 11.30 de...haizz...cos yesterday also late...den lidat lo...no choice...who ask myself to be late???goodness...all because of "wat to wear"!!!
today ate chicken chop...quite full...quite dazed today la...dunno why...haizz...den today also get scold from my full time...say i slow...all tat...but i think i ok le...cos i still dunno wat to do mah...but no use la...cos at tis point of time...ppl can be "more experience" den mi le...noe wat to do...how much is the price after discount...how to please customer...chat with them...where the goods placed all tat...but I STILL DUNNO!!! SLOW
hohoho...i wish to alter my pants all tat...make it smaller...shorter...and tighter...but not tat tight la...hmm...also wish to buy lots of long sleeve shirt...anyone can tell mi where got sell alot of tis???and where can get alter???ya ya...and my heels...where can get cobber???to mend my heels???
hmm...today went home with lionel...cos he work at plaza singapura...so meet at raffles den take mrt together...den eat at bb kopitiam...haha..."p but i nv eat la...quite full leh...hmm...we saw ryan and xing yi with another guy which i dunno who issit...hmm...dunno is sway or lucky...goodness man...haizz...
oh ya...tml i not working again...cos full time no work...hope tml will have fun...great day ahead...;)
hmm...nowadays very tire sia...haizz...i also quite long nv blog...like once a week den blog sia...haha..."p so lazy...***** national day is my elder sis b'dae sia...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! o.O ya hor...we actually plan to go chinatown buy belt...den after tat go bugis and...last but not least go cityhall...but we actually skip the bugis plan...sob...so sad...but we get to but belt...and i bought another red colour belt...with golden colour buckle...haha..."p cos i wan a retro combination...yeah...!!oh ya...that day i wore until very very gothic...draw my eye black black by wearing thick eye liner...den wear all black plus a demin cardigan(except this la...haha..."p)...hmmm...also exception of my heels...cos is silver de...haha..."p hmm...den the belt cost mi 5 dollar...tok can will be cheaper...but...feel like kana cheated lidat...cos only one colour for both side...
after chinatown we went straight to suntec le...haha..."p cos meeting sandy's sis all...yup...and we meet for anderson ice cream...chocolate fondue...yummy yummy...haha..."p but actually is wanna order one family fondue de...but we too many people to squeeze at the sofa seat le...so...seperate lo...hmm...den think quite ex if seperate order...but...no choice...hmm...but i also nv get to pay after tat...hohoho...
hmm...den after tat we went to riz calton...(think is spell lidat) hmm...cos wanna go see the fire works...den benjamin's parents got book a room...den can see clearly la...haha..."p but there got alot of ppl...which we dunno...but overall quite ok la...haha..."p***** den thursday...go back to school again...sian lo...dunno anything and dun learn anything again...haha..."pmorning went to mac for breakfast...actually is his ideas...den meet sandy and jq...but...he actually overslept...haizz...but we still go as planned...wohoo...got the 2 dollar breakfast meal sia...so cheap...and nice to eat lo...got ut after tat...so must eat fast...and rush to school...den whole day i feel tat i so damn tire and sleepy...den when we were to do the ws...i hurry myself to do wat i can...which is to do research lo...den i think other den research...i did no much also...haha..."p but i tried to put in as many effort as i can for researching part le...after school sian lo...my frens all got bazaar ig...den cannot go out...so waited for him...but he last minute den tell mi he also jus joined bazaar ig...goodness lo...nv ask mi join wif him also...haizz...sad la...lidat i also feel like joining sia....my fren and him both join...yup...reach home actually plan to eat...but...too tire...and feel like no energy lidat...so fall asleep on my bed... ***** hmm...friday...no go school...cos wake up late...den also...lazy la...neck pain also...so no go lo...haizz...but after tat got work...actually plan of going work early...so can earn more money...but...haizz...i spent to much time at home...dilly-dally...dunno how to spell la...haha..."p anyone noe can correct mi on my spelling pls...!!haha..."pden who noes...go out late...cos of the cake thing...so damn angry lo...actually plan to bring the cake to my workplace...and share with my full-time...but my sis la...wanna give ppl still wanna eat my cake..haizz...damn angry...give ppl still take back...dun giv better rite???i hate ppl who don't do wat they say want...dotx...den reach workplace late...everything late...today at there damn tire...sleepy...boring la...even my full-time ask mi wat happen...i behave until so unusual lo...goodness...
fireworks last
fireworks part 4
fireworks part3
fireworks part2
fireworks part 1
hmmm...now really long long long de long time no blog le...longer than the previous wan...haiz...dunno la...lazy??or??dunno dunnoo dunno...i am always indecisive...and i hate it...!!!***** okay...i stop at thursday...so now...friday...quite fun at school la...cos only play games den can get A le...haha..."p hmm...also early dismiss...can go orchard walk walk with loga nurul n aminah...but no much walk...cos they watchin lakehouse...den at 5.10 i think...so go buy the fried mars at the CHIPPY store...finish eating den go le...aei...??oh ya...i leave at 5...haha..."p cos working at 5 la... den late a little...but nvm...go shop...sian...serve customer all tat la...got go buy wat lionel recommend...the cheese hotdog and marsh potato...den share with "gina" goh-my full time de...haha..."p now got two gina in my life...hmm...den i ate the cheese hotdog...the cheese accidentally spilled to the floor...haha..."p funny and scare...den hurry clean it... saw sandy they all also at far east...den sandy so bad...make fun of me...so called messed up the thing like i usually do...haha..."p went home alone...cos sandy they all go ah ma house first... ***** saturday went to work as usual...den after work tok can go find him and his frens to eat steamboat...so i called him...and he kind of forget...and now i noe is purposely wan...he ask mi to go home and sleep sia...dotx...wat he say earlier all invaild already...before tat he say can go find him after work and eat steamboat with them...haizz...the hatred and disappointment begins... ***** sunday rarely no work today...den ask him accompany mi to go out...shop shop...cos i wanna buy long sleeve shirt...den he dun wan...say he lazy...den i ask sandy to accompany mi out...den after tat my sis say i can go with her to pool...den...i in dilemma again...goodness...must make decision... i end up goin with sandy...cos my sis plan changed...quite sad...den i cried at the bus...lucky got sunglass to cover...haha..."p reach there...really shop till i drop lo...i spent over 100 dollars in a day man...so much...haiz...den somemore i bought a 29.90 shirt at 36.90 sia...sandy also...haizz... damn angry and sad sia...he dun wanna accompany mi... ***** mon i started to ignore him...and i very very sad la...cry in class...for stupid reason...after school went to causeway with mimi nurul and aminah...go banquet eat again...den shop for present... ***** tue...things get worst...after sch went to causeway eat wif fren...den after tat go meet him...as he say he wanna bring mi to someplace for apologise...and we went to esplanade to see the fireworks...we manage to squeeze ourselves to the front... i was damn angry...he say he wanna apologise...but he nv say any sorry word...and nv even give mi a promise tat he wont do again...and his excuses are...he cant predict the future...so he dun wanna give mi promise...he say he scare he might break it...thus...this show that i have no assurement...also...he is not sincere enuff...and he shows tat he could have do this again in the future so he dun wanna promise... den after the fireworks we went to lau pat sat there to eat...we order alot of things...den end up left 1 dollar...which we have no drink for the day...worst still...ask him order the satay 5 chicken 5 mutton...he ordered 10 mutton plus the rice...we no money already he still order rice...and we cant finish up also...den...the 10 mutton also not nice lo...i ate 3 and the rest he finish up...godness...and i think i paid more... den more worst...the food for the day taste weird...all the combination together taste so damn weird... after tat...went home...tok he will say mi home...and he say he will...but he said too late...later he had no bus to go home...and he still deciding till we reach the bus stop...and suddenly he say the bus...and den...he ask mi to take 77 all by myself...and ya...i took it...damn angry...he should have said earlier tat he cant send mi home so i could take mrt...also...mrt is faster for mi to get home...den i also have to submit my rj...but...he didn't...wat's more...he still dun think is his fault and argue with mi...goodness...how come i will have tis type of bf???he is testing mi to the limit sia... a bf should send his gf home...help her carry things...accompany her out...all that rite???but he nv!!!this shows he dun care...he say he unique from others...but...i jus wan a decent bf...not a unique and boring relationship like his...cant even give mi promise...which mean he also believe he cant do it rite?? why cant i be fortunate??why cant i hav the life that i wan??why mi??why i hav such a bf??why my life is so miserable??
omg...jus now blog de all got deleted le...cos jus now com hang la...den must restart my com...goodness...hmm...nowadays quite tire lo...stupid man...everyday reach home den wanna sleep le...haiz...*****
seems like long time nv blog le...tues...went to sch as usual...forget most of it already la...haha..."p only remember after school...
after school actually someone agreed to accompany mi to chinatown...den actually got tok...but nv go...den he tok i got go...so he agreed to play game with his fren first...so since i nv go tok...means i need to wait for him la...den my fren and i stay in class den play this card game...quite fun la...cos i am the only survivor tat stays at zero level...haha..."p
after a while den realised got 9 missed call..den the people damn angry at mi...scold mi lo...den when he say he don't wanna go chinatown...even though he stomach pain...i also damn angry lo...haizz..den nv tok to him...den after a while he also damn angry...haizz...den i sort of walkin to mrt station alone lo...cos no tok or wat de...
thus i call m fren ask them wanna go chinatown with mi not...den some agree lo...den i waited and waited for them...saw many people passed by...will think of something...den nearly cried la...but i held back my tears...
finally they come...but their face all so glum la...den dunno wa happen also...tok becos i ask them go chinatown or wat la...den train i and mimi cried...also dunno why...haha..."p mayb becos of them...which they kept on saying dun cry...which the more they say...the more we will cry lo...
den finally...we noe wat happen to the glum face thing...haha..."p cos everybody tok it is becos of them making everyone not happy...but after a while nothing le...so i got to buy my thing at chinatown...den tok of eating at the hawker...but dinno chinatown no halal food la...except got fastfood...so we took a cab go beach road eat...but i also dunno where issit la...
there quite scary la..the ppl will like ask you go there eat de...hmm...den quite weird also...we waited for our food for a very long time lo...even after we finish our rj all tat...goodness...but the food quite nice la...haha..."p hmm...after tat we find ways to go home...haha..."p den as we walk i saw many like those kind of old days den have de building all tat...haha..."p
and finally we found our way back...den quickly rush home to submit our rj all tat...***** den wed go to school as usual...wake up quite late la...den got to wear quite nicely...heels all tat...den everyone tok wat sia...haha..."p cos goin out later...even faci also ask whether goin out or wat...so obvious meh??haha..."p mayb cos i nv wear heels to sch de...haha..."p den we got the ntuc challenge thing...haha.."p ask faci for help all tat...den faci say will give us partial attendance...cos we got to go at 2...sad la...even though we got do something...but nvm la... hmm...so stupid sia...the ntuc challenge...we always got to place at the third last or second last...haizz...dunno la...i till now also dun understand how the game is going...how to play the game...so stupid...and we lost the game...goodness...all quite sad la...haizz... den after tat...i go meet him and celebrate his b'dae la...haha..."p we went to orchard...cos i wanna buy sunglass...den also took neoprint at there...haha..."p at first tok i nv get to print the photos tat we want la...cos got this choosing part rite...i dunno need to choose...den i click ok...den they ramdomly choose...also not sure wat's tat mah...haha..."p lucky correct la...i also dunno wat's tat for...haha..."p after tat we went to bugis for steamboat...omg...the steamboat okok only la...haizz...cos dunno wat spice they put...den tat spice disgust mi...and ruin my appetite la...haizz..overall ok la...i also dunno wat to say...haizz.. den after tat actually say wanna go shop shop awhile den go home wan...den i tok going shop shop rite...so i say go mac do my rj first...den dinno when i finish my rj...den say not goin shoppin le...i damn mad lo...goodness..always lidat...on off thing...haizz... ***** today damn tire la...haizz...actually i dun even wanna wake up lo...haizz...but got the stupid module de ut sia...so stupid...den drag my feet all the way to sch...today quite late...so nv meet sandy they all lo...haizz... den today really very tire...den they all sick sia...loga even cry all tat...den i think two team go home lo...i also go home halfway...the faci say can go home if you wan la...but partial attendance if you got do rj lo...so we decided to go home...cos very tire and sick la...haizz... den i went home sleep till now...tire sia...
haizz...tml got ut again...godness...
saturday went to school for NTUC entrprenuer thingy...in the morning...den i was late...but realised tat i am not the only wan la...everyone was late also...haha..."p hmm...den i meet mimi...after tat meet loga...den we all waiting for aminah...den very late le...cos amira reach school le...so i and mimi go sch meet him...while loga wait for aminah...
after all the briefing thing...we went to eat at causeway...haha..."p no time le lo...goodness...so we hurry went to eat...den i finish went to work straight...but still late for little...haiz..
tat day get lots of scolding sia...sway sia...*sob* tell mi also no use...haizz..***** sunday went to work...buy the ya kun toast...so assy lo...haiz..cos u tok to lionel on the phone while ordering...den the stupid cashier auntie scold mi...say "wanna order still tok on phone"...goodness lo...i am her customer...how can she lidat...somemore i got answer her lo...nv even offend her den she lidat...dunno wat's wrong with her la...i got pay money de lo...haizz...sway sia... den after tat feel very uncomfortable lo...dunno whether the auntie got put wat thing inside...haha..."p den after tat feel stomach cramp or wat... ***** monday...haizz...school day...dun feel like waking up...tire sia...today mimi also nv go sch...den summore is problem solving...the stupid faci again...haizz... today prob okok la...but the faci damn bias...haizz...feel like killin him somemore...haizz... den after tat wanna go CSI tok..got CE points...haha..."p sian lo...actually wanna go chinatown...but nobody wanna pei mi...T.T
