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我真的忘不了你。
这些年, 真的很长, 真的很难忘记。
我想要像你一样, 向你学习, 如何忘记。
这真的很难。
我还在学习...仍继续努力着...
='(
I've tried; initiate; persist for a while.
I don't know what I am doing. A part of me was saying no, another was saying yes, and the rest saying I don't know. This is when everybody should questioned themselves; if we wouldn't able to answer what we really want, how would the other partner know too. (As usually, when we asked, and the answer is gonna be "I don't know", we would be really pissed. But look who's talking.. LOL!)
Maybe, I should, learn to, let go..
It's easier said than done. LOL.
Tried for years already, and look where I am at now?!
I know myself. I will, ALWAYS, look back, regret. No matter what I've done. SHIT. (Nah, except shitting, LOL.) Due to this, I did something, so that I hope I won't return, but now, I regretted. And it's late to say so. And well, it really did stop me from returning, somehow. And cause what I am at now, dilemma. blaaaaaa. (Ya la, I shouldn't. No elia no!)
I've called, msned, called, smsed. Replies were short, or no reply. All are signs huh? (Or not?)
Got to see this scene in a hong kong drama, playing about this couple: the girl going japan to study, and the guy promise to wait for her return. But in the end, he broke off with the girl, and apologise for breaking his promise. =( Well, yeaa. When reality strikes, a guy/girl changes his/her heart, the other party can do nothing, but to accept the fact. There's really little thing we can do. Actually, nothing. NOTHING.
I just wanna say, I know I've tried.
Haiya, what elia need to learn: Learn to let go. Learn to love, in the process of dating (not everytime after losing it). Learn to DRIVE. LOL.
HAIYAAAAAA. Another problem. I seriously have no confidence in passing my driving license. Plus, elia got no much money for practice, already. =( I wanna pass can!?! Please!
Argh.
Everything is still fine, and I thought this won't strike me, not as soon as today, 6 days, the 6th day after I arrived sg.
My right eyelid twitched today. I thought, being home, wouldn't have any sad things happened to me. Didn't know this actually, also consider as one. Blaa, nonsense elia.
I don't know why. Why today? Maybe I am too free. Or maybe too much of...
I wanna know. But I know I shouldn't. Usually Elia act upon impulsiveness. Hence, usually after a while, elia will tell herself, no, you shouldn't do this. And yea, I know, I shouldn't. Since, it's like this. I can't, and please don't. Things will get complicated.
At these point of time, I actually thought, I should really get back to Australia, real early.
On my way home today, everything so familiar, so many memories. As usual, stupid elia talk about memories again. I thought, maybe a remote spot would be a good idea for people to move on real quickly. Though I still think of in Australia. But at least at that point of time I know I am farther down there.
And maybe, a better place or activities to aid in this type of matter would be doing some volunteering work. For instance, like going to africa, thailand or whatever, some third world countries which technology is not as advance. No internet, no phone, no nothing. Totally cut you off from other part of the globe. Lead you to no choice to have any news, contact from that someone. In addition, volunteering work meaning, doing something, having something to keep you busy. Brilliant right?! ahahahaha. For once I think I am smart. But elia must have the courage to do so.
I don't how to say, who to tell. And most importantly, tell for what? ahaha. Everyone must be tire of my nonsense. I know, I keep moving back and forth. And I know, like what you all say, I shouldn't do this anymore. And I know too. I shouldn't. I can't.
Facebook-ing as usual. Look at some profiles. I seriously think. I am not up for anything. I don't know what is the four letter word. How can someone possibly feel sad for everything. LOL. And I conclude. I am just a sad person, emo person. That's all. And it explains a lot. I just like to be sad.
Sour, heartache, all fake. They are just component in making somebody feel so real at times, and is a building blocking for the making of "sad".
Sorry blog, you must have hear this for umpteen times. More to go. But I know. I will control. ahahahahahaha.
='(
Sometimes, it's not as easy as you think you can do it.
ALOHAAAAA SINGAPORE!! LOL. My friends, and family. OOOO, things changed man. LOL. A lot of things had changed. Everything seems so familiar, but yet, something new is observed. Tiny little bits anywhere. First day touched down, shop a bit at DFS for mum's present. And, went to eat, MEE SIAM. First food ate since touch down. NICEEE, STILL THE SAME TASTE AS IT IS IN MY MEMORY. kekekekeke.
Then, went back home, unpack, wash clothes, hang, and out to westmall. Hmmm, changes observed too in westmall. AHAHAHA. Anyways, got to meet sweeteng and gina. They changed man. Become, addicted to arcade games. LOL. ahahahaha. Haiyoo, still dun understand what the game mean, but anyways, they saw me, and see the fatness in me too.
Gahhhh, I admit, I grow fat. EEEE, an additional 2.5 kg had followed me from brisbane to sg. EEEE. Sads. Tummy fatter, and gina said, arms too. SAd sad sad. Like that how to come back and continue eating all the food that I had miss so much. =(
Now I care, later don't know, maybe, most probably, don't care too. kekekeke. Shitss. Can foresee myself being fat. Arghhhhh. Sigh.
Went to gina's house for mahjiong session afterwards. And had my second local specialty, Laska! lol. Niceee, but haven mum mum cockles yet, =(
Well, actually plan to find sandy, but she is busy. And by the time I call, it's also quite late.
Planned to meet minah, but unfortunately, elia fell asleep. =( Sorry minah. =(
I guess, I am definitely not made of metal/steel/iron, whatever. ahahaha. I never really sleep that long during the flight, or maybe I did (from what loga said). Don't know, to me, quite short. But anyway, the point is, elia haven have enough sleep, and after touch down, elia never get to sleep. So I guess body feeling tire, and protest by falling asleep. LOL.
Now, day 2. Boringggggggg~ Nothing to do at home. And, well, don't the problem lies in me, or what. The internet at home seems sloww too. =( Maybe I over-expect it.
Phew~ things starts to get better.
B.A.C.K.
