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Ha, god is playing around with me. What I type just now seens furtile. No mood to type all over again rite now. Quite tire. =(
CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT THEM??THEY MADE US, NOT ONLY ME, SUFFER!!!
ARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!I AM SO PISSED NOW!!!FUCK FUCK FUCKASSHOLEEEEEEI REALLY HATE THISSWHY MY LIFE BECOME LIDATSTUPIDDDDDDDDDDDYOU MADE A MESS IN MY LIFEEECAN YOU JUS DISAPPEAR OKAY, IF THERE IS REALLY SUCH THINGI WISH I'M THE ONE WHO DISAPPEAR!
Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change. What Tarot Card are You?
You are The Wheel of Fortune
intoxication with success
Take the Test to Find Out.
Labels: weird; freakyLife is so weird nowadays. People are so hypocrite, weird, and freaky. I don't know why, and what made these changes to them. Or maybe, they are just showing themselves, their true colours.
I felt so "pacified" by somebody. So weird, after the incident. But nevermind, I'll try to take them all. Afterall, there wasn't more days left for that. Things turn out this way could be because of some decisions being made or sort out. =) which angie the choice was niceNo motivation; or mood to school. =( Things always turned up to be like this everytime when it's ending. Happened in my first year first sems, second sems and now. Maybe its my destiny. =(was lucky to not fall any deeperThis is why I hate making decisionsespecially the wrong decisions*****
Yesterday some weird things happened to me. I received an anonymous sms, from some unknown number, asking to know me. So, I thought it was a prank or something from somebody I know. I asked Sandy to help me call, but she push the phone to jq instead, end up jq was the one who speak to the guy. He is indian, from sp, and the friend who wanted to know me was from balastier ITE, named Shawn? At this point of time, I am wondering who are they, and how the hell they get my number and all, did they sms the wrong person? Ha, nevermind, so the call end, as I don't even know them.
I thought this matter could put to rest if I never reply their sms and all, thought they would think they had sms a guy or something. However, they called my hp, and ask me whether that was my bf calling. So, from this statement, I can tell that they are sure of who they are calling. At least they know they were sms-ing a girl. Yup, then I ask them whether they had made a mistake, maybe I'm not the one they were finding. So I ask them whether they know my name or something. To my amazed, they know. Okay now, how my phone number got into their hands then. They said they know me throught their friends, as they saw my picture in somebody's phone. Okay, this is so freaky. After that, I asked how they get my number, they said they had forgotten, as took it like few months back. Don't you find it weird, he can remember my name, and how they know me; see my photo, but they don't know how they get my number. And, I don't remember I gave any stranger my number!!! Freakkkkkkkkkkyyyy!!
My phone batt was low after awhile of chatting, so I said I wanted to hang up and all. Actually they did asked to call back; after the call using friend's house number (was at Sandy's house); or when I'm back home, but I did not. Because, firstly, I still don't know who are they, and secondly, my house number is not private, so ya. =)His birthday is coming, should I buy him anything?I read the history of our msn, and I cried.I put up his pic again.Foolish me.I really don't know what I want.
Labels: picturesWhile waiting for my sis bf arrival...
slimmer face??hehe"p
ahaha, the waiting time can take so many pic sia.
nth to do ahhhh...
Something really weird about me. When I am like doing stuff, I would think of what I want to blog about and all. But now, even with much thinking earlier on, my fingers just couldn't start typing. It may due to my bad memory; and the bad timing when the ideas flow.
Okay, first thing first, I am really growing, sad to say its not vertically but horizontally. My stomach is really protruding, and my double chin can be seen easily. =( so sad ah. I think is because of my digestive system not working properly. ARGH~ haiya, I only get to noticed this on sunday, when I wore my vest to town. However, this doesn't stop me on eating that day.
All thanks to the taka food fest; I get to see lots of varienty of food. Ranging from proper food to tibits, asian to western. Moreover, they have my current craving, the KOREAN FOOD. I went down with my sis and her bf, in which her hp thingy got something wrong. Thus, after the long waiting and queneing; while that time my stomach was empty since I'm awake; my stomach growls. Me can't take it anymore, hence, when we reach the food festive, I just find everything so damn appealing. Wish to buy them all, but no money. =(
We bought jap biscuit, gogo's sausages, korean rice cake =), two pack of sushi, sesame flavoured muah chi, large orange julias. These are all that I could remember. hehe. And by the time I finish everything, I really fully bloated. I know its quite unheathly, but i jus could resist myself from all these nice food. *shy* And after all this, my vest really like exploding sia. I think will get fat in no time. I can imagine, all the fats are forming. =(
Oh ya, I also bought a suspender and a red little miss shirt. =) I bought the little miss greedy, which the picture really depicts my mood that day, greedy. After all these food and shopping, I can really really pronounce bankrupt. But I still thinking of saving up money to buy the little miss sunshine shirt(been searching for so long) at orchard emerald, which loga said it was cheap. ARGH~ so tempting. But, so sad to be broke, and fat now. haiyaaaaaaaa. =(
I nearly fall into the trapand could get hurt anytime*****I just hate it when you say"why can't I, but she can"Went school on monday, got my blood withdrawn. So sad, so painful. All thanks to that "guy nurse". Don't think he know to how take people's blood sample. Loga told me, a good "nurse" would not withdraw till bruises one. SAD ah, me got bruises now eh, for days still haven heal. Haiya. Bad luck eh, pay for it, and cause pain and bruises for myself. Smart me smart. Actually, I was so damn afraid initially, as I saw this girl cried(even with the better nurse). Then when it was my turn, I really feel like running away. However I still dragged my feet to the station. Haiya, it was really painful, but I managed to complete it with the help of my classmate, george. THANKS!! =D
I still remembered this day is the most pathethic day in my life, in rp. Oh man!! After the blood test thingy, which cost my 28 bucks, I am really really broke broke broke. Bought noodles for lunch; and I even have to like dig out all the coins I have to buy drink. =( What the hell, what had really happened to me???? ARGH~ And after all these, I left with 50cents to last me for the rest of my day. I still recalled that that was the day that I suggested to go home early after so long. =( sad sad sad. I WANNA FIND JOB!!! MONEY!!! CANT THEY JUST DROP FROM THE SKY?? ahaha. I know its impossible, unrealistic. =( I know I shouldnt hurt peopleas me myself know the pain***** I really hope that I could reset my mindWednesday went to meet up with secondary school fren, late as always. Don't try to lecture me with this, I know this is a bad habit, and I did try to hurry eh. Haiyaa. The worth of my sorry now is now, dropping, cos i said it too many times. Sorry people, just hope you understand me. Though I said it for umpteen times, and did not say it at times, cos i'm quite ashamed of me using it too many times. =(Got to know that frens around me have problems. No wonder we can be close fren, cos we have the same fate eh?? ahaha. Well, maybe this is the season for problems, especially for friendship and BGR problems. Hope you guys wont get too afected by it okay?? Just live your life to the fullest, treat it as a lesson learnt, or to pay to see the true colours of somebody eh. =) I think, we can be selfish for the moment, as its human nature. So you can ignored that coloured person for now. ahaha. Just see the side that you wanted to see?? Hmm, or join me on my laughing therapy. I think it really works ah. If you believe that it will, it really would. =) (Only can apply for internal factors only.)Went to have a English oral "revision". It was weird and awkward at first, as I have to read out the passage. And the weird examinermentor have to listen to every word i said. So paiseh ah. Haiya. I am quite sad about my pronounciation, and speaking English. Do you know how it feel like when somebody actually laugh at your English. And I really felt inferior at times; tongue-tied, cannot pronounce properly. I think my tougue got problem ah. ahaha. Hmm, but i really feel quite disappoint in myself at times, when I, myself can actually hear my own broke English speaking. =( Anyway, my weird examinermentor had gave me confident, says that I have potential in passing; asked me to read the passage slowly, and be careful with the "ed". =) I hope I could just lock up my hearttill the day that my REAL PRINCE find me.HOPE I COULD PASS THIS TIME ROUND. =D I don't want to be sad anymoreMay be my ex is really betterAt least I know he is faithfulBut now...
Labels: familyMy mum isn't home for days. I begin to miss her. She has been going out till late night, staying over at friend's house, going malaysia with friends and all recently. Don't know what she said was true, but what's the point of lying. I know that she still cares about us. Is just that she thinks friends are much more important to her for the time being.
I can understand that she needs more "personal time", as she has contributed a lot for this family. But I still think that this isn't appropriate for a housewife, and her health. I have noticed that she has been drinking, due to the alcohol scent that her breath had produced.
Though I did not show much care and concern in the suface, I still feel for her. I missed the days that our family went outing, eating and all together. However, these were like ages ago. =( People used to say that family is always there for you. But I somehow think that this doesn't fit in my situation. I feel lonely at times. Conversely, I pity my dad more.
He works almost everyday. His life is nothing but working. Working for us, the family. He has no much friend, leisure time. I feel sad when I see him eating out alone, yet i couldn't do much about it. I feel distant, we have nothing much to talk unlike the past. My heart is ordering me to do something but these messages could not be covey to my nerves and all. =(
I really feel bad; sad for him. He contribute so much for this family and yet nothing he gets in return. Till now, he still has to work to provide us, this family; and no one ever show appreciation to it, including me. =( So ashamed of myself.
He is so poor thing. All he do during his off days were maintaining his motorbike, his plants, sleeps and eat. So sad eh. All his daughters are useless. I am useless. Daddy so old now, yet we still make him work. =(
I admit that I am useless, lazy, dependent. Haiyaaaaaaaaaaa. I want to do something, but its just so awkward and I'm so damn lazy. What the hell, sooooo insincereeee. Don't know what more to say myself. JUST USELESS EH!!!!!!!! =\
DADDY MUMMY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!
argh!!!!!!!! I hate my sis at times. She is unreasonable. I hate this rude attitude of her, and she doesn't respect me at all. In my family, there is no such thing as respect. They are good to when only when they are happy. I hate my sis now. I think this is so infair. I am so broke now; till can't shop at all. I asked if she want to contribute the funds in buying online clothes last time, and yesterday. She refused, as always. And you know what angers me the most, she like to wear my clothes, and like that time, she need to wear something black or white to work, she wore mine, without asking!!!!!!! What the hell!!! She wants to wear it, but she don't want to pay for it. Now I am very broke, with clothes and all, and she is filthy, little clothes(wear mine at times). What the hell what the hell, so unfairrrrrrrrrr. You can say i'm stingy selfish or what. But the fact is, I am stingy and selfish now because I am broke, and I need this little help right now. Another case is that, yesterday, I saw this shirt online, like 17 bucks only.(cheap eh!!) Then i ask her about paying for that. You know what she say?? She said she don't wear those kind of flora shirt. And what now, i wore this flora printed dress today, and she say she wants to wear it tml, and ask me why I wear. What the hell, she liar, unreasonable!!!!!! I hate her now!!!!!!!! saddddd. =(
haiya, what happen to my world now. Everything jus tarnish my motivation to live. After the recent incident that happened, I begin to have no interest for school. Nothing pushes me to school now. Lucky I still has my yr1 sem1 clique. All thanks to them. =)
Went breakout with them. It was really fun and enjoyable. We chatted. A lot of stuff. We even mention about a reset button stuff. I simply love them. My motivation for now. =) Also, went back home alone last night. Saw the sky, the stars. They are simply gorgeous, glazing. There are really, really a lot of them hanging in the sky. One of my motivation for now. In order to see them, I have to live, continue with my life eh. They simply touches my heart and itch my eyes. I like so touch to see them; especially after the incident, and when I consider about why am I still in this world. I just don't know why I live for; I don't know what I want, cant feel what I need to feel, don't understand myself at all. What the hell right??!! I'm just like a corpse now. A broke one(no money). Can't even live to shop now. Haiiiiii. =(
Due to the particular incident that deters me, me decided with friend to not go school on friday. How wonderful right. We planned to go for outing: photo shoot outing. Sorry mira, for abandon you, we can always go someday together too, I really don't feel like goin school, sorry for being selfish. =( hmmm, anyways, we ate breakfast at woodlands mac today. Me came extremely late, so never go school. Instead, I meet them straight at mac; ordered and carried breakfast for them(Four people portion eh!) The manger even asked me if I am going to finish all up. Siao eh. Besides that, we got a free sausage mcmuffin eh. Don't to say I'm unlucky or lucky, cause I carried this extra in all one tray with the other orders. However, we it get for free, so ya. Oh, Loga spilled her milo today. (blur eh??cute eh) After then, we headed to orchard for photo taking, starbucks and shop for rupini's birthday present. Had fun chatting, take pictures and shopping with them; though me have no money to shop. =(
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUPINI!!
Ooooooooooo, we saw this uncle or should I call HIM a sexy MAMA?? Initially I saw this guy wearing long earring on both ears and pointed him out to my friends. Then this uncle, behind me, snatches all the "limelight". He really really unique eh. He wore a pair of stocking, heels, a lot more earrings and a short and is really short dress or should I say it as a top, which can cover his butt and only when i say his butt i really mean only his butt ah. SEXY eh. xD
Oh ya, taka having food fest now till 22 july. I simply love food fest, but no money no use ah. haiz. Still remember, we used to go for every food fest together. That was sweet. Will you still go with me one day??
Today's sky is also pretty glazing, but yesterday was better as there are more stars. Well, this both day's sky still lights up my life. =)Will we still be together??Can we be happy??I REALLY MISS YOU! But i just simply don't know what I want. Can you make me happy?? If you still like me, why you never initated the patching part? I'm confused, maybe you don't like me anymore. =(
Labels: sacasmI have nothing to say if you really look upon me in this way.
I also do this to my frens wat, look up for them when i have problems and all. SO you mean i am like using them or something. It's insulting to hear this from you. SO you mean i use my fren?? Isn't everyone looks for frens when they need help or something. Maybe i'm jus evil as only me have this kind of concept. Sorry. I am like that. So ya, my true colors have revealed.
Problems after problems even when problems hasn't resolved.
Good luck to me. =(
SORRY FRIENDS...tell mi if you think i'm evil to treat you this way k.
Went dental on wed; a sad day to face. My teeth gets tighten now, couldn't eat much, as i could only chew soft food. The matter that I matterred the most really came true. The dentist asked me about my bf. It's sad to hear it and to face it. ahaha.
Since you moved on, i shall also get my ass off.
yesterday was black friday, friday the 13. Everything went smoothly for me. Got to complete the power point within little time, hence there is sufficient time for me to relax. Went for eye screening; so sad to hear that I have long-sighted. What's that man!! I can't see near stuff?? So sad, no more perfect eye-sight eh. There was an UT for me after school. Whenever there is UT, i wouldn't be so relax for that whole day. I would be damn stress up, and couldn't do stuff and all. However, it goes exceptionally well yesterday. Maybe, I guess is due to I know nuts about it.
Things weren't going smoothly for my friends. We went mac after meeting to chill and all. Have fun chit chatting. And we decided to leave the place at 8 plus; as usual, nurul is the one who wanted to go home. On the way to take our transport, Nurul found out that her EZ-link card gone missing. While Nurul was searching for her card, Loga realise that her wallet and phone gone missing too. It was a panic situation at that time. Even me and minah went checking on our stuff. Fortunately, due to Nurul's incident, Loga was able to recover her stuff on time; which was left on the mac's table. However, Nurul still unable to find back her card even with the trip back to school. She was depressed. I don't know how to cheer people; what i said was mean but true. Anyways, hope any kind soul could help to retrieve her EZ-link card, as this is the 4 time she lost her card. Nurul, don't be sad okay, just look on the bright side eh. You've got a chance to change for a better picture??*****You have only a heartof course you will feel so severly severed a part of youeven though you two had never happen beforeCheer up Nurul!! =)if you were to go back to heri won't mindit's better to too, before we get startedit's my fault too, to not make decisionso ya, go back to her if you can't forget her
It's saddening to see that wednesday is approaching. It would be an awkward day for me. Having dental appointment on this coming wednesday. He used to go with me for EVERY appointment without fail. Moreover, I book this appointment for our convenience; decide the date with him. And now, I'm so damn lost. =(
It would be awkward as I afraid the dentist would ask for him.
I'm a girl without a heart now. I just can't feel anything. Maybe I'm avoiding, or maybe I'm waiting. Even skin could repair itself, so ya. It just takes time. =)
There is this guilt in me. Sorry for being indecisive. =(
I miss his family eh =(
Don't Love You No More(I'm Sorry)
by Craig David
[Verse 1]
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately
you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and then it's throwing the pan
But why are you making this drag on so long
(i wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly games
(silly games)
Don't figure that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's
been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
[Chorus]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
[Verse 2]
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you inner state
(inner state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
[Repeat Chorus]
[Bridge]
Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.
[Repeat Chorus X 2]
So sad! I blogged like two times, and lost the post as my lappy screen turns black! WTH, i'm quite disappointed with this system; it says that it will help to save entry, but none of the two were saved. (it's error on page salvage their reputation???) ANOTHER BIG FAT LIAR, BLOGGER!
Initially, my thoughts for cutting hair is to get a new, fresh start ahead. In which I could throw everything behind, and start anew. But, it wasn't that easy.
Dreamt of somebody; was quite sweet. However, because it's sweet, makes me kind of emo now. As it was far too sweet from reality. (I've forgotten what had i stated jus now; I think it may be god's will, as my previous entry was disallow to disclose, thus...) It was not easy. Places that I had been to, seeing the DP that he is using; a girl's drawing, affects me. It's saddening. Though I am sad, I knew that if I had a chance to get back together again, I wouldn't be happy too. I know it sounds contradicting, but that is how I feel. I am really confused right now. I don't understand myself; don't know what I really want. Maybe, it's just good to be single now. At least, no heartbreaking problems now. I know that I am selfish.
My friend also feeling emo now. Her BGR problem; stupid guy playing with her heart. Say that he likes her, and changes his heart as fast as a lightning strikes. Though, dating is like a guessing game, and the best part is about this "unclearness", I still hate it when it hurts people's feeling. And about that guy, I still think that he is bad. If you like somebody, your feeling would not changes so fast; if it would, you are not liking somebody then, it must be infatuation and not like.
TIME PROVES EVERYTHING!!!
It has been a while since i blogged. Today was quite boring. Stay at home alone. Nothing special happen recently. Just that i had a new hair cut; and it's really short, especially the bangs. I'm still not used to it; as it gives me a even more kiddish look now. =(
My phone was sucky. The batt and the controller cannot make it man! I've got my ear piece controller changed, and now left the batt, and the stupid bluetooth stuff. Still haven figure out where went wrong for the bluetooth. And i am afraid to ask, as this is so noob.
Well, oral examination is coming, yet i do nothing about it. So worried and disappointing at the same time; mixed feeling. Lazy, and it's too late to do anything now. Feel so hopeless. =(
